Liz Strauss.com

PERFECT VIRTUAL MANAGER

So we’ve found our feet. We’re on our way back to the people we are. We’re dropping the image, the clutter, the noise that has been the “face” that we show people who don’t know us well. We’ve found the strength that comes from being always ourselves.

Those things that used to matter — Who knows what yours are? — things that we know, things that we can do, things that we have done have been replaced by the things that we value. In fact, our values finally decide where we walk, where we run, and who we walk or run to.

When we’re well on our way to authenticity, we start to see what held us down before. We start to know how we got in our own way. We understand the ways that we made unimportant things bigger than they needed to be.

And we look around to see other folks still doing the same things we did.

We can’t tell them that what we are is the real thing. They might want to believe, but they need to experience it before they will know. Other people have said every word we’re saying and not been real before.

We help other folks find authenticity mostly by listening and waiting.

Waiting can be a service and a proof.

It can be an authentic sign of patience, respect, and generosity.

It’s also a safety net.

When folks are ready . . . as the saying goes, “Leap and the net will appear.”

Liz Strauss

Behind every Successful business is an Outstanding Manager. — PVM

See also Work with Liz! at Successful Blog

PERFECT VIRTUAL MANAGER

When we’re small and we’re negotiating with parents or other children, we learn soon enough to say, “Do you promise?” or “If you don’t, can I say, ‘but you promised?’ ”

A contract — not a legal and binding contract — but a pact with a person you want to trust is a promise. We make pomises to each other exery day when we say things such as

• I’ll call you.
• I’ll have that to you by 2pm.
• I’ll I’ll take care of that.
• I’ll water the plants.
• Let me do that for you.

When we don’t keep those promises, it’s obvious that we have let someone down. He or she can tell by what’s not been done. They’re disappointed. We’re seen as someone who doesn’t deliver on something we said we would do.

We also make promises that are far more subtle than those about what we will do — promises about who we are.

Authentic people, acting in good faith are sure not to act as we might wish to be instead of as who we are. We’ve taken time to build character and identity. We’ve determined the attributes and strengths that we own and want people to know as ours.

What happens when we make promises of characteristics and traits that we don’t really have?

When we oversell ourselves, it shows soon enough. It shows when a moment of anger comes our way. It shows when we become too relaxed in a comfortable conversation. It shows when a project goes wildly off track.

When we make a claim to be what we are not. People recognize that we’ve oversold ourselves. They see it in what we can’t do. We lose credibility we might have had.

It’s exponentially higher to win back trust, than it is to earn trust you never had.

It’s almost impossible to change someone’s mind. After we’ve broken a promise, there’s hardly a chance.

When we’re who we are, people recognize that too, and they tend to raise us up. People appreciate authenticity more than any skill we might make up.
Liz Strauss

Behind every Successful business is an Outstanding Manager. — PVM

See also Work with Liz! at Successful Blog

PERFECT VIRTUAL MANAGER

Blogging offers singular opportunities to practice the skill of not listening. The proudest of these is to act as if readers don’t exist at all. These tips will make that easier.

• Don’t consider the type of person who might want to read your content.
• Write about yourself and your ideas as if you are the most important being on Earth.
• Feel free to criticize known facts, not just theories or practices, for no reason.
• Make global generalizations about people and nations.
• Affront the eye with the bad presentation of information on your blog.
• Fill the white space with unattractive widgets that add little value and much distraction.
• Ask readers to login if they wish to comment.
• Use javascript code to make it impossible to use the back button to leave your blog.

Those are a few ways to make it clear that you have no intention of listening to you readers’ ideas. How could you? You haven’t shown a care that you have any readers at all.

Liz Strauss

PERFECT VIRTUAL MANAGER

Every relationship we have is one we have with ourselves.

Sometimes when we talk to a person we don’t know well, we might catch ourselves thinking about what that person is thinking. Keeping track of the sentence above is a way to stop those distracting thoughts.

We cannot imagine what that person is thinking. We can only imagine what we might think in that person’s place. That is not the same thing. It’s a waste of good thought and takes us out of the conversation that we’re having.

The best way to ensure that the person we share a conversation with thinks well of us is to stay engaged in the conversation — to listen well to what he or she is saying. Having a care for the conversation not only enhances the communication, but is a deep sign of respect.

It’s hard not to think highly of someone who shows a true interest in what we have to say.

Liz Strauss