Feb23

Relationships Are Conversational

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PERFECT VIRTUAL MANAGER

We cannot talk or write without revealing something about ourselves.

Every relationship starts with a conversation. Every interaction with people involves a relationship, no matter how small or short-lived.

Inside the conversation that takes place during any relationship, the people involved reveal their needs, desires, objectives, and values. If we listen, to what a person is saying and how they are saying it — we will hear

  • the unconscious word choices — target audience, kill fee,
  • the power of each word,
  • the voice and intonation,
  • the sense of action or reaction,
  • the order in which the points are delivered,
  • the points which are elaborated,
  • the overall organization of thoughts,
  • the hesitation or lack of it,
  • the imagery and figurative language chosen,

and so many other nuances that we might sensitize ourselves to be aware of.

Listening actively we will hear a pattern that will reveal a picture of the person talking and what that person has on his or her mind. It’s not hard then to clarify by asking, “What I hear you saying is that . . . Am I right about that?”

If we can get to that one point of discussing whether we are hearing what the other guy is saying, we have formed a partnership. We are automatically on the same team working toward the same goal — clear communication between us.

If we enter every meeting with this sort of beginner’s mind, we all but guarantee that our relationships will be based on high trust and communication. Isn’t it amazing what can be achieved by a little conversation?

Liz Strauss

Behind every Successful business is an Outstanding Manager. — PVM

See also Work with Liz! at Successful Blog

 

  • http://www.connected-content.com Whitney

    You’re right of course — there are many nuances that could be listed. Body language, hand gestures, and facial expressions are big ones to watch for — especially when one or more appear to contradict the words that are being said.

    I always look for: the speaker leaning forward in their chair, the speaker stuffing their hands in their pockets just as they start talking about something, the speaker crossing their arms in front of their chest, or a slight furrowing of the brow. In those non-verbal cues, I’ve often found what most concerns or frustrates a person.

  • http://www.lettingmebe.blogspot.com Liz Strauss

    Hi Whitney,
    I alway loo for the speaker leaning in toward me also. A hand set in my diection is also a good sign. Arms crossed ove the ches are not very friendly. We all know how to recognize these signs. :)

  • http://daveolson.ca/2007/05/07/first-the-honey-then-the-peanut-butter/ First the honey… then the peanut butter

    [...] be the difference between looking like a fool and looking like the source of wisdom itself. In fact really listening might alleviate the need for you to say anything. Speaking before you listen could just be messy. [...]

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