The Lottery Mentality When a Gift is Offered
Taking time to think things through when we’re in a rush, it’s best, difficult. It’s even harder when what propels us is a grand and great idea. When that great idea is meant in self-giving generosity, we sometimes cannot see how others might not value what we have to offer.
That’s when we really need to STOP. BREATHE. THINK THINGS THROUGH.
People are often mistrusting of a positive, particularly from someone they don’t know well. They have two natural responses, one is to assume flaws — Where is the hidden catch? The other is what some call the lottery mentality — I Want Mine Gimme More. Both responses come from a place of weakness inspired by the generosity and fear that it might not be really meant for someone as [fill in the blank here] as they are.
Folks feel a whole lot better if they earn what they receive. With a transaction they can point to, the gift then makes sense. The transaction, no matter how simple, says that they deserve the gift and can count on keeping the prize that has been bestowed upon them.
No one likes to win something, only to feel they don’t deserve it, that it might be taken from them, or even worse, that the giver might want something in return that hasn’t yet been stated out loud. All of these possibilities make folks insecure.
Insecurity makes folks do things they wouldn’t normally do.
They do things like ask their readers to vote them to the top of a list (while pushing other folks down) on a list that was meant to shed light on new blogs and show gratitude for the bloggers’ work.
It’s easy to get to that sort of misbehavior without thinking. It’s hard to take back such actions once they’re done, especially when eager helpers hurt others in your cause.
When someone offers you a gift, be gracious. Say “thank you.” STOP. BREATHE. THINK THINGS THROUGH before you try to make the gift into something that it’s not
Liz Strauss
Good points Liz! The interesting thing about adding the voting aspect to the Z-list was that it introduced hierarchy to what was supposed to be a level community.
Oddly - it’s interesting to notice that even in corporations - the desire to “rise higher” causes some to do things (and rationalize actions) that they would normally never consider.
Comment by ann michael — December 29, 2006 @ 12:14 pm
Hi Ann,
I’m right with you. The community didn’t need to know who was “best” when they all oare unique in their niche. To think that marketers use voting as a way to prove worth is disturbing and misleading at best.
Comment by Liz Strauss — December 29, 2006 @ 2:56 pm
[...] The lottery mentality is the desire for unearned success or as Liz Strauss describes it “I Want Mine Gimme More”. We have allowed it to become so ingrained in our way of thinking we are constantly in want for more, more, more! We are a people of instant gratification. I want mine. Gimme More. [...]
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